Changing Your Mindset

Our mindsets are formed through prior experiences and emotional milestones in our lives.

Unfortunately, if you are like most of the population, then you have developed several “counter mindsets” A counter mindset is one that holds us back and doesn’t help us produce the results that we want in life.  This mindset is a negative way of thinking and visualizing the world.

Changing your “counter mindset” is something that doesn’t happen by accident-it’s a conscious choice that we have to make and it takes some serious work.

Did you know that approximately 65,000 thoughts go through our minds each day?  The majority of these thoughts are negative, whether we realize it or not.  Most of us struggle with “ANTs”, which are automatic negative thoughts that occur so often throughout the day that we are most likely not aware of it.

Here are 7 steps that we can take to change our mindsets:

1.  Accept that your thinking needs an adjustment

The first step in any change is acknowledging that you need to make one!  Just identifying this will help you make a step in the right direction.

2.  Identify your “ANTs” (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

Pay attention to your negative self-talk and how frequently it happens.  Being aware and identifying these harmful thoughts is pretty eye-opening.  You may notice that your negative thinking can be narrowed down into a few key themes.  Taking a mental or physical note of this is a big step towards change because we can’t change what we don’t recognize in ourselves.

3.  Change your thought patterns

There are two fairly easy approaches to moving your thoughts from a negative to a positive.

The first one is to FORCE yourself to change your thinking.  For example, instead of looking in the mirror and seeing your flaws, compliment yourself!  It might feel phony at first, but once you get into the habit of consistently filling your mind with positive affirmations vs negative ones, you will start to believe yourself and grow.

The other idea is to try the “IF/THEN” approach which is a thought process that allows you to think past your negative thoughts.  For example, IF you start to say that you are too tired, too out of shape, or too lazy to exercise, THEN go straight to your closet and put on your workout clothes and go for a walk.  Sometimes just by taking one step in the right direction is enough to shut your ANTs down.  You can prepare yourself ahead of time by writing down several IF/THEN statements.

4.  Understand your “WHY”

Since most of our unhealthy habits and ANTs were formed when we were kids, changing our mindsets takes hard work to break.  Understanding your why can help you work towards a more positive outlook.  To set a why-think about a goal or dream that will have a transformational change in your life.

Examples of a why may be:  “To improve my relationship with my companion” or “To be happier in my career.”

Once you identify your why, write it down on paper and why it is important to you.

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5.  Realize that motivation is not enough

High achievers understand this reality so they stop mentally punishing themselves every time they stumble or fail to stick to a plan.  Knowing this will allow you to be emotionally freer which will encourage you to try again tomorrow and not give up!

6.  Start with super small goals

Set tiny, achievable goals that you can easily reach.  For example, if you want to reduce stress, try deep breathing for just 1 minute each day.  Or, if you want to start exercising, make it a goal to walk for 5 minutes.  Decide that your mini goal is the minimum and that you can do more if you feel up to it.  More times that not, you’ll feel awesome because you are over-achieving when you do more and if you just do the minimum, you’re still hitting your goal.

To ever make any serious change, we have to take small steps and repeat them daily.  This will create momentum towards positive change.  Consistently hitting our small goals will form new mindset habits.

7.  Acknowledge that you will FAIL

Highly successful people realize that the only thing that really keeps them from their goals is stopping, so they don’t stop!  They know that they’ll have obstacles and failures along the way but they give themselves permission to screw up because failure will help them learn and make adjustments as they see fit.  If you know that failure can happen and you accept it, seek feedback and make changes to get back into the game.

I hope these tips help you as much as they do me.  Do you have other healthy mindset habits that work for you?  I’d love to hear them!

 

How To Be More Positive

I am usually a very upbeat person but there are some days that I  battle with a very pessimistic view of myself or just life in general.  This happens to be one of those days, so I thought I would write about it.

I know that I have ZERO to complain about so I am puzzled why I sometimes struggle to count my blessings when I have SO much to be thankful for.

There are some days that are much better than others, but on the BAD days (today being one) there are things that I can do to create a more optimistic mindset.  I will admit, however, that I went out and had a few drinks with friends this past Saturday night and didn’t sleep well after, so right there I know that by not caring for my health, I am paying the price mentally….

Anyways, if you struggle with this same problem, here are some things that we ALL can do when we are battling negative emotions:

Do Something Kind For Others: 

It’s easy to get wrapped up with your own misfortunes.  Instead, try to step outside of your daily routine to help someone else.  This can provide you with a new perspective on life and fill you with positivity.  Aim to do one nice thing for someone each day-whether it’s a phone call to a loved one, writing a letter to a friend, complimenting someone at the grocery store, or buying a stranger a cup of coffee.

Practice The Two Positives Exercise: 

When you are not used to thinking optimistically, it can be hard to stop the negative flow of thoughts. This shift takes time. Be patient with yourself, and first just try to observe your thought patterns:  Are you judging others?  Are you focusing on your failures?   Do you find yourself complaining about your job?  Are you criticizing yourself or your body?

When you observe these thoughts, take a moment to counter each negative thought with two positive observations or gratitudes. Think of it as adding in two positives for each negative thought you recognize.

Practice Gratitude:

One of the quickest ways to shift your focus away from negativity, judgment, and disappointment is to list the things in your life for which you are grateful. Be grateful to have your jobby job, to be able to sleep in a bed each night, for the health of your family, for the sun that comes up each morning, for the people that love and care for you, for a chance to “start fresh” each new day, and for a body that lets you experience life.

Practicing gratefulness can cause almost an immediate shift in your perspective. Keeping a daily gratitude journal (even if it’s a list on your phone) can help remind you to keep life’s blessings at the forefront of your mind.

Have A Positive Posture:

My dear friend, Courtney Rouse, has the best posture out of anyone I know!  I am always complimenting her on this and you know what- she’s a pretty darn positive person so I do believe this is an effective strategy.

The mind and the body have an intrinsic connection—each greatly impacts the other. If you are struggling to move your mind into a more positive perspective, try moving your body there first. Try standing up straight, shoulders back, chin held high, stretching your arms out as wide as they can go. Feel powerful. Feel positive. Carrying yourself with “positive posture” will encourage your mind to feel more positive as well.  (This works…I swear-I just forget to do it!  Courtney Rouse…will you help remind me please?)

Smile:

Another way for your body to “trick” your mind into being more positive is through smiling. The simple act of smiling, even if you are faking it at first, can instantly change the way you feel internally. Whether you are sitting at your desk, driving in your car, or walking down the street, smile. You will be amazed how your mind reacts. Even better, try smiling at a co-worker or stranger you pass in the hallway or on the sidewalk. Chances are they will smile back.

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Surround Yourself With Positive People:

It’s hard to maintain a positive perspective if you are constantly pulled down by the negativity of friends, family, or co-workers. If you get trapped in a negative conversation, gracefully try to change the subject to something more positive. (I am guilty of NOT doing this….working on it though!)

If you are surrounded by a bunch of negative people, it may be time to reevaluate your circle of friends in an effort to be surrounded by uplifting individuals.

We all know that life is not always easy, and sometimes we get handed some majorly shitty cards to deal with.  However, it is our own perspective that ultimately determines if we will drudge through the mud and muck with a sour attitude or if we will brush our shoulders off and try our best to be a better version of what we were yesterday.

I hope these ideas help!  Let me know what you think or if you have other strategies that keep you feeling uplifted or lighter.